Ballad of the Crushed one

I stare at the sky

with sand under my toes

with the wind swirling through my ears

gazing at the horizon

I trudge in the mud

craving once again the sweetness from the past

when I was weak and vulnerable

with my dad's shoulder below my legs

and his voice under my ears

saying

grow up my son...

I climb the verdant hill

smelling the fragrance of the flowers

the fragrance of loneliness

it squeezes me until shapeless

when memories of her smile wipe away my daydream

and my tear bursted from these exhausted eyes

A tree behind me

and a palm leaf beside me

they comfort me not

now that warm loving shoulder will never appear below my legs anymore 

while I am still breathing

nor will that smile appear again before me to ease my pains

I am crushed to pieces

I stare at the cloudy sky

gazing at the horizon

ripped apart by these excruciating torturous torments

knowing

there will be more pain

as long as this wretched world

still exists when my eyes are opened.....

Enlightenment

Starting a new life at Yong Siew Toh conservatory of music this july has been something unforgettable in my life journey!

Firstly, lots of new friends. I can say YST is the most heterogenous faculty in the entire NUS: it got students from 11 different nationalities! Besides, I got a friend from Australia, and she speaks a very articulate and fluent English (although with funny wierd Australian accent), so here is also a good place to practice my english.

But these couple of weeks have been an "enlightenment" for me.

I start to think more about my life.

What I want in my life.

And then about the music I play.

YST is just like the gathering place for all geniuses from all around Asia. I, compared to them, is just like nothing. I possess poor piano technic, and I am not as sensitive as the other.

Then what can I do? Can I really catch up with them?

These questions have rocked me to the core. I was shocked to realize that I have these questions in my mind. Is music all about competing with each other? Is music all about comparing myself with the others and saying,"hey, I am better than you, hey you're better than me", or "hey, he can execute this passage faster than you do"???

No, that's stupid.

I am here at YST to improve myself

I am here to study

I am not here to compete and to be towery!

I am here to make my own music!!

And the only one I have to defeat is 

MYSELF!!

Yeah, looks like YST has changed me a lot.

One thing I love from YST is,

the "almost"-absent-state of  "kiasu"

the like of which Medan possesses very deeply.

Here, a student can teach the other student,

I mean, to share what they have earned from their teacher

the freedom to criticize others' performance without the fear of being scolded

the very meaning of friendship here in YST has been heightened to its upmost level

that is to support the others

and to be glad of your friend's improvement

YST is just like an Utopia for me!!

Au Revoir tous les Mondes!!!

I have faced many miseries through this June, and I barely can stand them. My father was sent to the hospital, and passed away like the wind. Fortunately I'm sure where he will go after that.
At first, I thought I would have a nice, adventurous June...
Thank Jesus, because of His accompaniment in all this hard time, especially when He grant my prayers: My father accepts Him as his Savior at the last moment... That's the biggest relief..
I will meet you again, Pa, in some 60, or 70 years, when I died, I will meet you again, in the most perfect place, Paradise. Just wait!!

Yesterday, my friends and I went out together to Sun Plaza and watched Transformers. Quite a good film, except for the last part of the movie; It's too hurrying. It wasted too much time at the beginning, and ended up too agitated in the end.
Btw, our beloved Dicky flies to Australia today, and I think it's the last time in this year I can see him. Bye, Dick..
Another is, my job is done..

A week to go to Singapore for a new place and home. Feels like it's been only a few hours ago that I held my own concert, and now I stand at the gate of the new future, a gate of new style of forging, new training, new work, new lesson, and new hope. I will miss you all, dear friends.
Bye, Mom, Cie, Miss Rose,Dicky, Rt, Rosemerry, CL (you're so far away), Rinie, Ayu, Richat (si taek, hh), Susu, Hendra, Abe, Gilbert, Weddy koko, Sir Daud, Miss ratna (hh), sapa lagi ya??

Hehe, Au Revoir, tous les Mondes!!! Au Decembre!!

A Word Succeeding the Recital

It was nearly two months since the last time I wrote a blog here. It was a harsh, tough, and painful road since then. I was preparing myself for the final exam, national exam, and for the first concert I have been dreaming for a couple of years. So now, I wish to share what I felt when the concert is held.

I was amazed when I walked through the wooden floor from the backstage, by the huge amount of glimmering faces listening to my footsteps. The auditorium was poured with more than 600 hundred people, all expecting a memorable performance from me. My heart throbbed ferociously, frightened by the fact that it was my very first public concert.

Actually it was not a really successful concert, at least not in details. As I sat on the piano bench, and started the first repertoire, my hand shaked – I think you all barely noticed it - which was indeed my failure in overcoming the nervousness. Another is, yeah, as usual, lots of dropped and missed notes scrambled the original quality of the songs. For that I beg for all your pardon.

But I realized afterwards, that the point of a performance is not about presenting a completely out-of-mistakes playing, but it’s about how I, as a pianist, can provide a morally and philosophically nourishing performance. My biggest joy as a performer, is to see my audience go back home with their hearts relieved of all their personal woe and weariness.

Yes, as you all said, it was indeed a successful recital. But if it was not for the supports of many personalities, I thought I wouldn’t have enough courage to continue till the last note.

Firstly, I thank You, Almighty Father in the Heaven, for Your eternal love, for Your abiding accompaniment, be it in my grief, be it in my joy. I presented You this concert, I hope You are pleased.

Secondly, I thank you, Mom. You all know that she never abandoned me, and never did she stop to encourage me. I am really grateful for having a terrific mother like you in my life journey.

Thirdly, thank you, my miss Rose Mary, for her teaching and guidance, which have led me to this concert. She was so meticulous in her teaching, so persistent in forging me, without her, I would have held a terrible concert for all of you....

Fourthly, for my all my friends, Dicky, James, RT, Sandok, RHT, Richat, Hendra, Suando, Felix, Sir Hapis, Rosemerry, my dear sister, CL, Snowy, Ayu, Silvia, Ina, Lai2, Rika, Iriani, Jaslyn, Ivana Polim, Sasa, etc. Your unceasing supports have been my fuel and zeal amidst the struggle against all the pain during my training. I really, really, couldn’t do it without you all.

Finally, for all of my audience, I really hope my performance satisfied you all, and thanks a lot for sparing your precious time to attend my recital. Anyway, your commentaries are really welcomed, needed, to be precise, hehe...

The Beauty of Bahasa Indonesia

Today I am going to show you how 'grateful' we are to speak Indonesian, in front of Malaysians... haha. Malay has less vocabs than Bahasa, so they use weird existing entry to define a word, and that means they have lots of words which have several definition. Most of them sound just hilarious to us Indonesian..
Henceforward, I think I can't write in all-English for this blog.


==========

INDONESIAN : Kementerian Hukum dan HAM
MALAYSIAN: Kementerian Tuduh Menuduh

INDONESIAN: Kementerian Agama
MALAYSIAN : Kementerian Tak Berdosa (oh please...)

INDONESIAN : Angkatan Darat
MALAYSIAN : Laskar Hentak-Hentak Bumi

INDONESIAN : Angkatan Udara
MALAYSIAN : Laskar Angin-Angin

INDONESIAN: Pasukan, bubar jalan !!!
MALAYSIAN : Pasukan, cerai berai !!!

INDONESIAN : Merayap
MALAYSIAN : Bersetubuh dengan bumi

INDONESIAN: rumah sakit bersalin
MALAYSIAN: hospital korban lelaki (hmm… make sense..)

INDONESIAN : telepon selular
MALAYSIAN: talipon bimbit

INDONESIAN : Pasukan terjung payung
MALAYSIAN: Aska begayut

INDONESIAN : belok kiri, belok kanan
MALAYSIAN : pusing kiri, pusing kanan

INDONESIAN : Departemen Pertanian
MALAYSIAN: Departemen Cucuk Tanam

INDONESIAN : gratis ngobrol 30menit
MALAYSIAN: percuma berbual 30minit

INDONESIAN: tidak bisa
MALAYSIAN: tak boleh

INDONESIAN: Satpam
MALAYSIAN: Penunggu Maling

INDONESIAN: Aduk
MALAYSIAN : Kacau

INDONESIAN: Di aduk hingga merata
MALAYSIAN : kacaukan tuk datar

INDONESIAN : 7 putaran
MALAYSIAN : 7 pusingan

INDONESIAN : Imut-imut
MALAYSIAN : Comel benar

INDONESIAN : pejabat negara
MALAYSIAN : kaki tangan negara

INDONESIAN :bertengkar
MALAYSIAN : bertumbuk

INDONESIAN : Pencopet
MALAYSIAN : Penyeluk Saku

INDONESIAN : Tidur siang
MALAYSIAN: Petang telentang

INDONESIAN : Air Hangat
MALAYSIAN : Air Suam

INDONESIAN : Pengacara
MALAYSIAN : Penguam

INDONESIAN : Sepatu
MALAYSIAN : Kasut

INDONESIAN : Ban
MALAYSIAN : Tayar (the root is from the pronunciation of Tyre in English)

INDONESIAN : kulkas
MALAYSIAN : peti sejuk

INDONESIAN : rusak
MALAYSIAN: tak sihat

INDONESIAN : keliling kota
MALAYSIAN : pusing pusing ke bandar

INDONESIAN : Kedatangan
MALAYSIAN : ketibaan

INDONESIAN : bersenang-senang
MALAYSIAN : berseronok

INDONESIAN : bioskop
MALAYSIAN : panggung wayang

INDONESIAN : rumah sakit jiwa
MALAYSIAN : gubuk gila

INDONESIAN : dokter kejiwaan
MALAYSIAN : Dokter gila

INDONESIAN : narkoba
MALAYSIAN : dadah

INDONESIAN : pintu darurat
MALAYSIAN : Pintu kecemasan

INDONESIAN : hantu Pocong
MALAYSIAN : hantu Bungkus

INDONESIAN: Orang cacat
MALAYSIAN: Orang Kurang Upaya

INDONESIAN: Ruang Ganti
MALAYSIAN: Bilik Bersalin

A weird language, isn’t it? Just how ‘proud’ we are to speak Bahasa…
Anyway, Malaysian language is weird in our opinion, but I think they will laugh as well at our Bahasa, so it's vice versa…

You guys are greatt!!

Yeah, two golds for our class today for newsreading in Indonesian and another for the table tennis match.

The gold medal of the newsreading contest has been won over by two of our class distinctive talents, Johan and Tiffany. Johan, a smart guy who got his nerve at not only academic performance, but also literatural skill. On the other hand, Tiff, or jiso (as I usually called her), has been born with a brilliant brain, as her talent shines not only now when she brought the gold with Johan to our class, but also when she was representing our school to National Science Olympiad in Computer Department last year. Bravo and Brava!! Anyway, another two girls of our class won over a bronze in the same field, CL and Fransiska. Again, congratulations!!

Yet another star in our class, Budiman, succeeded in beating his final opponent with total victory in the final round of table tennis match, scoring 3-1. Well, what can we say? He has trained unceasingly over years and that has led him to the perfection of the skill, more than the others. Besides, he himself is the chairman of our school table tennis club. Hoho...

Ultimately for today, 2 GOLDS!!
I am proud of you all..

Funny trivias - It is really out of our Observation!!

The trivias below are really hilarious and stupefying. I browsed through the internet and found out many facts that we should - or have to - know, but it has escaped seemlessly from our sight...
Here you are..

========

Did you know………….


- Your skin weighs twice as much as your brain…


- Jupiter is large enough to contain the other 7 major planets in our solar system


- Walt Disney World ‘excretes’ about 120.000 pounds of garbage per day


- Barbie’s real name is (if you know I bet you are surely a Barbie maniac)... Barbara Millicent Roberts


- In ancient China, people who wanted to commit suicide ate a pound of salt


- About ten millions of people share the same birthday with you...


- Cinderella’s slipper was originally made of fur, not glass…


- There are no public toilets in Peru (swt)


- Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he started composing

- Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor (LOL!!!)

- A cubic mile of ordinary fog contains less than a gallon of water

- You have to walk 80 kilometers for your legs to equal the amount of exercise your eyes get daily (WOW)

- In the Andes, time is often measured by how long it takes to finish smoking a cigarette

- A blue whale has a formidable tongue, which approximately weighs the same as an adult elephant

- The longest word you can type from only a row of the keyboard is “TYPEWRITER”

- Ants never sleep…

- Donald Duck was banned in Finland because it doesn’t wear pants…

- Chicken are the most close animals in relationship with the Tyrannosaur

- It is impossible to lick your elbow

- More money is produced for the MONOPOLY than for the U.S. Treasury each day

- Butterflies taste with their feet

- Coca Cola was originally green (what??!~!)

- The longest all-consonant word in English is “RHYTHM”

- A Mosquito has 47 teeth

- Most lipsticks are partially made of fish scales

- The ancestor of rabbits used to be carnivors

- The world's longest name is (try read it aloud): Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorft Sr.

- A sneeze travels out of your mouth at more than 100 miles per hour (huahaha)

- Dolphins sleep with one eye opened… (swt)

- In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man onthe moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first, and only, home run

- In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license

- In York, excluding Sundays, it is legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow

- On average women speak 7000 words per day, where as men speak just over 2000
(apalagi medan ayi-ayi...)

- When Thomas Edison died in 1931, Henry Ford captured his dying breath in a bottle (gubrakk!!)

- One of the Trivia above is not true. Which one is it??

Admitted!!!

Finally all my perseverance and assiduous work have been paid off!!! I am already admitted to the conservatory of my dream, the Yong Siew Toh of NUS. Ohh.... Halleluiah..!!!

Btw, It's been long since last time I put my word here. I have been busy all this time, but I think i can post my upcoming blogs more frequently from now on.

Since tomorrow is the lovers day, I wish you all a happy Valentine day.... Love is like an eternal flame, never flicks once it is lit..

And finally, thank you all for your unceasing supports to me. Without your supports, I don't have enough courage and strength to go (train, indeed...) this far. I promise you all, friends, I won't let all your supports become useless..

back for only a blog's sake..

sorry... long time no see...

It's been a long and tiring time I had, ensnaring me unable to quench my thirst to write a word here... I practised piano for a hell of time, although I also played a lot, particularly DotA.. swt..

Since I passed a lot of 'red-days', Christmas and New Year's Eve without a word in this forum, I beg now for all of your forgiveness, and I would like to greet you all: "Happy New Year 2009!! Wish you all da' best!!"

Now, indeed, I have found a new hobby.. hehe. I learn a new language, weird one. haha
It's the elvish Quenya.... swt

so, bye for now..

Namárië